Why do people begin with the lifestyle??
Why do people begin the swinging lifestyle? & what exactly is a swinger anyway?
All of those questions are easy to answer, and some have double meanings.  A swingers lifestyle are couple based adult lifestyles where people, be it couples, groups, and the like engage in sex and sexual activities.  Traditionally swingers are best known as a party activity where two or more couples of married people are free to swap partners for sex in an amateur group or parties.  It began in the UK and later became known worldwide.  Many of you will remember the idea of swingers originating in the UK from the Austin Powers movies.  
Some people see swinger lifestyles as the best means to add variety to an otherwise stagnant relationship.  Swingers come from all walks of life, be it rich or poor, and of all sexual orientations and levels of education.  Many people see this type of free sex as a degenerate party lifestyle leading to the breakdown of society and the spread of STDs.  While it is easy to agree with this stance on the surface, it can just as easily be argued to the opposite, in that responsible swinging increases marital fidelity with a greater degree of safety.  After all, both husband and wife know who the other is sleeping with, rather than in cheating blindly, where it is a secret.  If everything is free and open this way and both parties are consenting, at least there is no fear or question for the individual as to where the better half is spending his or her nights.  It may also be argued that swingers have a greater sense of understanding, security, and self-esteem in their marriage.  Their point is that if they are free to live as swingers and still be married, then sex is NOT the foundation of their marriage.  How?  If sex is less important and viewed as a recreational and semi public activity, issues of home and family must therefore be the foundation for marriage.  It could be argued that swinging can be viewed as something that increases the concept of society!Women in Swinging
It is certainly an understatement to say that the role of women in our society has greatly changed over the past several decades. The humanistic and woman’s movements have had an impact on sexuality also. The number of women choosing involvement in swinging during the past few years is remarkable. Sexual and social assertiveness on the part of women at swing parties and other swing activities is not only acceptable, it has come to be expected.
To openly be oneself without fear of seeming unfeminine is a delightful experience for a woman and a welcome experience for the man. Swinging provides the environment to alter sex-role playing for sexes, allowing men and women to participate with each other in a uniquely human experience.Man in Swinging
Whether married, in a relationship, swinging can be a wonderful experience for a man. Not surprisingly, most women who are into swinging were introduced to the lifestyle by a man in their life. Also not surprising, many men would swing if only they could. They are hindered from the experience by their marriage, or if single, their inability to find a woman for a swinging partner. Of course, guilt feelings about sex and pleasure, and sex roles, also hinder men from swinging.Men are not the macho, always ready, self-reliant persons of fiction. They are as human as their female counterparts. They experience loneliness and fear rejection. A man, on convincing his wife to try swinging, may experience unexpected jealousy and a feeling of loss when she walks hand in hand, partially nude and obviously excited, toward a bedroom with another towel-clad man. He had fantasized himself in swinging but had not comprehended the reality of his wife or mate swinging.
As with women, the experience of swinging can be growth producing for a man. It alters forever traditional concepts of man-woman relationships with sexist overtones. Through swinging, a man can experience a great deal of pleasure.Couples in Swinging
Swinging is "the recreation" for couples whether they are married, committed (having an ongoing emotional commitment), living together (co-habituating, with or without an on-going intimate relationship) or single couples who date. A study of swinging couples (McGinley, 1979) reported increased enjoyment and satisfaction in the relationships accompanied by a better understanding of self and mate, greater intimacy between the partners and a decrease in sex role playing and sexist expectations.Swinging enables a couple to explore sexual and social feelings and needs together, permitting a demystification of sex which allows sex to assume a place in the relationship unhindered by the standard ties to love, duty, sex roles and morals of others.What is Sex in Swinging Like?
The actual non-pressure sexual activity of swinging is varied. Though important, swinging is rarely centered around the orgasm but on the various pleasurable acts that lead to orgasm. Once on a bed, the participants will generally begin with kissing and caressing each others body. Both the woman’s and mans nipples are favorite places of fondling, sucking and gentle nibbling, followed by licking and kissing around the genital area, then the genitals directly. Most develop techniques they feel pleasure their various partners.Sixty-nine or mutual oral-genital pleasuring is popular. Either partner may masturbate the other, and vibrators may be employed, especially in group swing scenes such as in the swing clubs group room. These activities may be intermixed with intercourse done in a variety of ways. Anal sex is popular with some swingers. Bisexual swinging is more common among women than among men.
And always remember.....No means No.Single men often wonder why it is so hard for them to get into the swinging scene. This may help to understand why... 95% of swingers are couples. Most of them married. They are usually secure people not looking for any emotional attachment. Just fun recreational sex as an enhancement to an already healthy primary relationship. For most of them friendship is very important. They are very selective about who they chose to be with or even meet. A high percentage of female swingers are bisexual. Fewer men are openly bisexual but that is gradually changing. Couples generally seek other couples. Couples with a bi female often seek another couple with a bi female, or a single female. This benefits both the man & the woman. Therefore, fewer couples seek to add a second male unless it's something the woman wants or they are seeking a bi male. As far as married men playing discreetly without the wife, very, very few couples will accept that. Cheating is something that is very contrary to the concept of swinging.
Probably you already know that, not to many couples looking for single men, and in fact not to many club let single men in to their dances.  But some couple seek extra men. Some couples interest in three or more some, gang bang or the husband just like to watch his wife in sexual act and maybe he'll later participate in too. So do you want to be part of their life? It won’t be easy but the next few sentences may give some basic idea.
Probably you already heard that, "Looking for couples and select single men". Select means that you must be clean, polite, well dressed and well mannered. If you're not all of these things this is not for you.
Remember most of the swingers club are members only club. Of course most of the club let guests in. If you are a single male the easiest way to get in with a member couple. You have to understand that discretion and privacy very important for every swingers. You really have to behave, your character is under continual scrutiny... That means that just because you are in the club today, does not mean that you can be in tomorrow too. If you misbehave, act badly or disruptive then your will be ask to leave immediately and you will be permanently bared from ever returning to that club again. Club members know each other. This also means that if you insult or offend one couple, word will spread very quickly to the other members. By the same token if you are pleasant to a couple and they enjoy your company, they will be eager to introduce you to other couples and ladies so that they can enjoy your company too. Just like close friends love to recommend a good movie or a good restaurant to their friends... Swingers like to recommend people with to their friends!
You can have a great time if you leave your punk attitude at the door (if you have). Be yourself, be real and socialize, asks a lady to dance and have fun. Maybe even ask her husband for permission to ask his wife to dance. Talk to her husband and be friends with him too, remember, if he doesn't like you then you're not getting anywhere with her. Take your time and don't be in a hurry.One important thing to understand about couples (and women) who are in this lifestyle is that every couple plays for this a reason. It is their own personal enjoyment, not yours. Some are interested only in other couples, some only in women, some do nothing, they just like the atmosphere and some are interested in playing with single men, and (this is where you might come in).All couples have a set of rules by which they play, and vary little from those rules. Don't try to change them, it won't work and you will appear pushy.Be a gentleman & a classy guy. Just because a woman likes sex, doesn't mean she appreciates vulgar language or suggestive remarks. Good manners and social skills are more important here than anywhere else.
Dress nice, like you're going on a date. You want to pick up women and for extra you need for this her husband approval too!
When you know you will be having an intimate encounter with your mate, you take extra special care in your daily hygiene routine, right? Well multiply that ten times for this lifestyle. Before you go to the club you should spend extra time brushing & flossing your teeth, showering, doing your hair and pubic hair, putting on your best cologne. Get extra cleaned up and dress to impress. Leave your torn or baggy jeans or shorts and T-shirt, and baseball cap at home, you're not going to the stadium to watching baseball game, so don't dress like it.Don't assume that just because you talk or dance with someone that they want to have sex with you. And, don't get too aggressive on the dance floor or at the bar, unless you get the clear message that it's all right. If you get that message, go with it, just don't overdo it. You can even ask her, Is this okay?Leave the creative pickup lines at home. Swinger ladies are adults and are not into head-games. They have heard every line in the book and it won’t work. The best opening words in the world that work 99% of the time a "Hello, this is my first time here and I noticed you and wanted to introduce myself to you, My name is Leo". Introduce yourself to both the husband and his wife. Never wait until he goes to get a drink and sneak up to meet her without him present, or wait to ambush her as she heads to the ladies room.If you want a 100% sure thing then go to a whorehouse or call an escort. Most of the swinger ladies are wives and girlfriends and above all, they are ladies, not escorts. Treat them like ladies.Don't try to sell yourselves  with the famous lie: My wife wanted me to come here first by myself to check it out, so I'll come back with her the next time and we can all play together after you and I play now. No wife in the world that is just beginning to explore this lifestyle would send her husband to a swing club without her.
Don't talk about your wife or girlfriend, and how great she is or how beautiful she is - if she was, you wouldn't be here alone and she'd be with you. - and don't tell a lady how hot that woman across the room is. If that's what you think, tell it to the lady across the room.Don't ignore the husband. No matter how much his wife likes you, if the husband doesn't like you, you're not getting anywhere with her. This doesn't mean you need to spend all night talking with him, but introduce yourself and be cordial and play it by ear.Don't be shy and withdrawn or be a wallflower. If you see a lady you're interested in, be observant. If she dances with guys other than her husband, or if she spends time talking to single men, maybe she'd enjoy talking or dancing with you as well. Don't be afraid to approach her. Even in swing clubs, women generally don't approach men. Just because a lady is with her husband, doesn't mean she's not available or is not approachable - remember you are in a swing club. Don't be afraid, just approach politely and with class.Swingers clubs are social clubs not a drinking clubs. Drink in moderation.  No one likes to be around a flaccid slobbery drunk.If someone tells you "NO" that's all there is to it. It's not open for discussion. Don't ask why not?All in all, it's real simple, be a gentleman, be classy, be friendly, and treat people well. Everyone has a much better evening if the ladies have a fun time, and if they do, then you've got a great chance at having a really fun time with them.And once again, admission to the swingers dance doesn't guarantee that you will have sex, but only that you will be admitted to the club. No one owes you anything and you shouldn't expect anything from anyone.If you follow these guidelines, you should have a great time and make lots of new sexy friends.